I am an addict

In the spirit of Transparent Tuesday I thought I would start off sharing a few of my weaknesses. Some may appear to be more serious than others but they are all things that I struggle with. Most of them will not be immediately evident to you and that is why I am sharing them. Sometimes it helps to know that others struggle with similar vices.

The thing that I would like to expose today is that I have an addiction. It is destroying my body and causing everyday life to be more difficult with every passing day. I want to stop but is has such a hold on me that every time I think I am free I stumble. It has stolen my energy and made it hard to enjoy many things that I once loved.

I am addicted to food. Now before you start laughing, I am completely serious. This is not me being cute about how much I like to eat but an actual struggle that I desire to get control over. I am easily 60 lbs. overweight and unable to do many things I used to. I crave it all day even when I am not hungry in the slightest. I am currently trying to eat small, frequent portion of food throughout the day and all that does is make me think about food all day.

At my job I sit in front of a computer all day and that also make me want to snack all the time. At one point I had food stashed in every drawer and cabinet at my desk. I felt like my desk was a concessions stand and had to make lite of it to not be embarrassed by it.

I am out of shape and I eat unhealthy which makes it difficult to exercise. You can see my dilemma. When you hear some of my other weaknesses you will see why all of this is working against me. If you think of it, keep me in prayer. Jesus and I are going to defeat this thing this year. Although I think he looks great just the way he is. 😉