He sees in me what I don’t see in myself

This is a very hard post for me to write but I feel I need to. I shared this during the service at LifePoint this past Sunday and it was very hard. God is healing me but I still have a long way to go. Sometimes there are things that happen in your youth that have a dramatic impact on how you view the world. I had something happen that impacted how I viewed God and and his church.

Without getting into the boring details, I was a very excited and passionate person when it came to my faith. I wanted to change my community and my city. I didn’t know how to do it but I knew I had to do something. So I started building a team to reach out through arts and a zeal for both God and people. 

On two separate occasions I was sat down by one of the pastors and the drama director and corrected. I was called rebellious, obstinate and hard headed. Those words stuck with me for many years as I seemingly proved them to be true at various stages of my life. They still at times try and creep back in. I felt like God himself had called me those names since he didn’t seem to come to my side and defend me. I felt alone and in many ways gave up on my faith. I have also relived this same scenario in many diferent ways and stages.

I gave faith another chance but not without resentment. I tried to be what everyone wanted me to be. I didn’t succeed usually, but I tried. In my travelling with the New Life Drama Company I ended up at a church in Broomfield, CO called His Beloved Family Church. There I received a prophecy of sorts that to this day haunts me.

Regardless of what your views are on the Holy Spirit and the gifts that operate because of his infuence, I would like to share this prophecy with you. Know this, this message from God (and that is exactly what I believe it was) has changed and is chaging my life. 

[audio:prophecy5-25-97.mp3]

Here is the beautiful part of how the Holy Spirit sometimes works. This was a message for me but I believe that the Holy Spirit wants to re-speak through this word to someone out there who perhaps has felt the scars of the story I shared above. I hope that you have ears to hear.